I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
