So drunk its hurt
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
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