I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
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