That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
how does that bad decision feel?
I bought two pregnancy tests and a cosmopolitan magazine at 4am... I told the cashier "dont judge me, ur not God"
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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