In the future we'll all be gay
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
