It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
