How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
