sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize