i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
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