Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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