Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
