We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
