dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Randomize
