stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
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