i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
pray to the hookup gods
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
