I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
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