She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
Randomize
