Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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