and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
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