I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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