Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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