No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
