where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
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