Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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