This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
