It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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