i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
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