But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Got paid to make out with a girl. It takes skill to be this drunk and still make money
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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