You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Sober me is really good at getting to the airport on time. Drunk me is really good at shitting my pants. Do you know how much pants cost at the airport????
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
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