i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
You know, be my cock's hype man.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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