when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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