I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
