is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
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