Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize