If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
