Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
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