it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
You are the jesus of drinking
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
