We won't sleep together?
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I'm taking a dump and eating a fortune cookie and it said "Force it to be successful"
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
