i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
you really should stop posting my phone number on craigslist as tranny seeking tranny, last night i answered at family dinner and almost choked on my hot dog
do you not see the irony in that??
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Randomize
