it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Let me get this straight. You stopped mid foreplay to shave your legs?
Um yeah. I wasn't about to shave them if nothing was happening. And I have HBO. It's not like he's the victim here.
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
Randomize
