You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
How drunk are you?
Completed.
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
