FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Randomize