Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
Randomize
