i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I just turned down a booty call because I'm having a Star Wars movie marathon
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
Randomize