It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Randomize
