You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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