Taylor Swift is so right about you.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
why is half of my head shaved?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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