I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
