Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
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