im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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