The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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