Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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