Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
from now on my penis is your penis
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
