just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
