Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize