I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
