The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
