it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
