Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Ok in all seriousness. Alcohol intake is now restricted for me. I found handcuffs in my trunk.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
