"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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