Pappa wants mamma naked
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Randomize
