now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
