i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
