The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
